Follow me
into the chrysanthemum tea ♥
あたしには あなただけよ...
Why?
Thursday, August 28, 2014 // back to top?
It hurts fucking more when you have finally found someone who can understands you, speaks to you the words you've been longing for, gave you happiness afterall these bunches of shits and in the end leaves you hanging.
And why does bad things fall down all at once. It's not like I can lift up tons of stones that have stumbled upon me. I've got all what's left in me taken away and how do you expect me to keep on walking if I got nothing to keep me on the ground; I am empty I can mere float and it won't lead me nowhere because not even a whistle of wind mind a fuck to care about me.
The more time passed, the more I understand that I've really no one who stands on the same side with me. The more I live, the more I understand that no matter how much I yearn, all I can do is to keep on living, alone.
How do you describe your feeling. I can never properly express my feeling and nor that I need sweet words to enchant my sadness. I only need a proper hug, or even easier, a hand to hold. I won't cry as long as no one is willing to hold me as a whole. I won't lose to my pain. I can bear it no matter how it hurts until someone can accept me as who I am.
Up until now I still can't accept myself. I wish I'm a lot prettier and lovable. I wish my true personality isn't this annoying. I wish someone could be happy enough to have me in their life and lets me know about it. I wish I could be more understanding towards what's surround me. I wish I don't always make the wrong decision. I wish my hardwork didn't easily goes to waste. And gain appreciation.
I know I'm not in the place to ask for more wishes. Who the hell am I to deserve all of these?
I've been really bad and I wish people could just kill me straight forward rather than to choke me alive, leaving me suffocate in the longest time I can survive. I am so tired.
All I can ever ask is 'why?'