Follow me
into the chrysanthemum tea ♥
あたしには あなただけよ...
Paradox.
Sunday, July 21, 2013 // back to top?
I'm back...! Not that I'm back here with any of the good news. I'm still waiting for that day I can happily announce that everything had turned out fine in this blog. I'm sorry, it's not the time
yet. I suppose.
As I've mentioned before, I'm now in the process of learning Japanese. Last month I went to Tokyo for a study tour. It was surely fun! Until I have to go back home. Anyway, to make it short, I decided to enroll into a language school in Tokyo. I'm not quite sure if it's a wise decision but a little voice in my heart kept whispering that I must give it a try.
I assure you not, I am terribly afraid and scared at the moment. I never thought that even by looking at a form that you have to fill in order to get you enrolled into that particular school can be this terrifying. I still leave them all blank because it reminds me of those days when I was in TAFE. I am terribly traumatic and I don't know how to properly overcome this feeling. I have to urge to move on but everything's so scary.
Anyway, talking about the other activities I've been doing at the moment... I'm now working for my highschool friend's new business. It was actually designing for T-shirts. I found it interesting when he explained the project to me. But then I am now feeling super unsure because things seems to be unclear and looking at how irresponsible they are towards the task they gave out, I think they aren't ready to open up a new business.
Last time there was a meeting that no one gave me notice about. There are some terms changed about the designs and such. They told me I am one of the main members of the team yet I am the only one left clueless about what's going on. In conclude, I am not happy with this current condition. I don't really want to work under this kind of environment.
Sometimes I wonder why the project I'm working in always ended up being canceled or fail or bad or such. You have no idea how this made me feel. Same goes with making choices. I don't want to feel this way ever again... It hurts me so much that I can't even properly explain it.
I still am craving for a long hug, though. I really do. Maybe all I ever wanted wasn't a good choice of words to comfort me. I just need a hug. A long comfortable hug. Just a hug. I think it'll be fine.