Follow me
into the chrysanthemum tea ♥
あたしには あなただけよ...
Serenity.
Friday, August 24, 2012 // back to top?
I've never been so happy that I feel in peace with myself!
Today was a really great day. My teacher loves my artworks and they appreciate my hardwork! I had such a difficult time working on those assignments because I thought I was the only student left behind! But then to figure out that I'm the one who have done everything earlier instead, it makes me feel like I've done something nice at last!
My classmate also told me that I did nice (that it made his art looks bad lol! he said that jokingly of course) and that makes me can't stop smiling on the way home! I can't control my happiness!
I know that in the future I'll crashed into another obstacles but at this very moment, let me enjoy this happiness and serenity within myself.
My future-self. DO NOT REGRET THIS HAPPINESS YOU HAD. I know that you'll have another moment when life seems to be unfair and the world seemed to hate you again but... don't regret this moment. I am so glad that I can feel this way before I sail into another stormy seas. I am so grateful.
I know how it feels to be in peace with myself. It was an awesome feeling.
Drips.
Thursday, August 23, 2012 // back to top?
Woot. I moved to Australia for real. For the first week staying here, it was horrible. I cried everyday wanting to go back to my hometown because it sucks to be here; the weather, the weather and weather. I can't stand cold and I had to stay in my homestay. My homestay was so far from town. When I first arrived here, no one from the homestay answered call. Tbh I feel unwelcome and it annoys me. When they contacted me, they said I can be there during the dinner but heck. It was so far from town and it was so fuhreaking cold!! My books were all crumpled because of the cold and my body? Torn.
When I went to my university, it... doesn't feel like university!! There are only bunches of old guys and whenever I went there, there are only 20 people max around the campus! I don't feel comfy and so I decided to change course, to whatever course there is in the city. After going to the counselor , I decided to choose Digital Art as my course but since the class has started and it's full alr, the head office offered me to go into Interactive Media : Gaming course. Oh well, why not? As long as I can move from that particular place. I was trying hard not to make 'going back to my hometown' as one of the options; I don't want to make my family worried any longer. pft-- what a sinful daughter I am.
Alright, so I went into the new university~ that also means I have to find a new place to live. To make it short, glad that I found a comfy shared-house from the magazine near the new university I'm attending to. This is osm~ The people here are really kind too (: and it's a lot warmer here too haha.
... Lately. I met the son of the house owner's. He's really kind and caring. I find it so comfy whenever I talk to him. When he knew that I stayed at home for 2 years alr, he worried about me. When we went out together, he kept asking if I had fun or not. I do had fun! And since I was afraid that he might think that I don't have fun, I apologized if I seemed to be depressing or such, but I had so much fun. And what he said made me feel... Happy and worried at the same time?
"No, don't say that. I won't make you feel that way. At least when I'm still here. I won't make you feel that way."
... I did expect someone to say something like that to me but I never thought that someone will say that in real life. It's kind of.... scary. I'm afraid that what he said was just mere a sentence that he never meant. And when we reached home, he asked me to hang out again sometimes before he went back to China. It lifts my expectation a bit higher. and that makes me...
scared.
The other day, he came to my house again to fetch my housemate's family. He was just fine; he talked to me and to the other people. But because I can't bear it to stand in the crowd, I decided to stand at one corner of the room. Is that wrong? I was still in the group though, just a bit further. I don't know why but when he was about to go home, he greeted everyone goodbye but not me. He looked at me several times and that's when I said bye and waved my hand, but he just looked at me and went away. That hurts me though. I kept saying 'I knew it' but I can hear something dripping from my heart too; it hurts.
I tried to let it go. There won't be a way I can get everlasting happiness. Pft-- I realize that even earlier but I can never learn from experience. Anyway. That was a short happiness but at least... I was happy hahah.
I hope I can survive for staying here.