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Things that Bother.
Thursday, June 2, 2011 // back to top?
Today i had like, a serious big-short-fight w my dad. Well it was all began with the sensitive topic for discussion in the morning (which brought me to a very very bad mood). I hate it whenever i started my day w something that bothers my mood. My dad was talking abt my 'limitation' of going overseas n i told him alr that i don't want to hear any of it; therefore i escaped to the musics while my dad kept on blabbering those speech.
Not-so-long after that speech, when my dad was going out for smoking, my mom continued talking abt my education. I told her, too, that i don't want to talk about that. In result, i was kinda mad. To avoid snapping on things i didn't mean, i didn't talk to em, like, for the whole 'journey'. We then went back to the hotel. My dad continued blabbering as i listened to my iPod and drove off to sleep.
I was hoping that when i get up, i can feel much better and am able to talk w my parents like usual. BUT, my dad started it again. He kept talking to the point i can't hold it anymore. So i speak out my thoughts. The more i speak out my thoughts, the more he raises his voice. The more he raises his voice, the more i raise mine. One thing i hate from talking w my dad is that i always ended up fighting, AND when i fight, i always end up crying. So, i was crying like mad and shouted at him while he shouted at me as well. I remembered it very well how the madness drives me uncontrollable. My hands were shaking so hard coz i tried my best to hold in the anger; which i know might even causes me to say something that i don't want to say.
But gladly this time i can say all the things which i think does make-sense for me. So i won't regret for saying those things. Well, but then i escaped from the hotel. Oh n i forgot to say, my dad was crying as he 'screamed' at me. i don't know what was my mom doing, i wasn't looking at her. I've said this before, when i break someone's heart, i break mine much more. it hurts like super hurts to the extend like killing myself. N so, yea, i escaped from the hotel. I crashed my SIM card so that they won't be able to contact me (all people); i'm going to buy new one soon. i ended up going back to Toa Payoh, which i think is such a childish decision and i hate myself for making such a shallow decision.
My dad is going to go back tomorrow n he told mom to stay and accompany here. They told me that it's better (in a tone of a MUST) for me to go back too for a while as i think of my decision. So tomorrow i'm going to get a ticket for mom n i and soon will go back to our country. idk when will i be able to go back to Singapore but... idec atm.
Oh i forgot to say, i 'finally' fail the lessons of VC this term. This week is the 4th time i absent from the class. Mom told me to hold on until December, but wait, DECEMBER? like, 6 more months?? no. i don't think i can hold on. I'm going to make a decision super fast and i hope, too, super-accurate. hahas.
Another note, this has been the 6th month since i 'bleed'. lol. haven't tell anyone abt it (i mean, what actually is bleeding) but i guess i won't tell anyone until it rlly hurts me. coz it's kinda scary, i guess, n bet the treatment won't be easy so... yea ==;;