Follow me
into the chrysanthemum tea ♥
あたしには あなただけよ...
Promising Monsters. duh.
Saturday, April 30, 2011 // back to top?
SHE TOTALLY DON'T DESERVES THIS!! and what!? why must she experienced almost the same problem as mine a year ago? She don't deserves this. She's a great friend ): but her 'friend' said that she's a fake friend? geez. i feel like crying when she told me the story of what's actually happening.
She said she's going to move to Singapore as well n will take Fashion major. I'll pray to God n i hope she won't pick the wrong decision. But i guess it's best for her to go out from Ciputra first. Ciputra has gone worse. The students raised there ended up being monsters instead of promising students. sigh. i hope it won't affect my bro one day ==;;
sigh. sigh. sigh.
God, bless her ppllllleeeeaaassseee >A< i beg u )':
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.
// back to top?
It's been years since i last watched Charice Pempengco when she first showed up in Oprah Show. Ah, those feelings came back to me; the feeling of enviousness, adore, admire, and... those feelings i can't describe. I rlly thought that she's so lucky. She had a hard past but then she got the reward. She really deserves to get all of these.
Of course, i had the thought that i wish i was her. She's able to achieve her dreams and keep on flying higher. Wow, i guess God loves her A LOT and yea, she deserves all of this (: i know she loves God; she respects all of the talents God given to her, she's also humble to others. Usually people will go arrogant and selfish just right when they know that they're having greater skill than the others but Charice didn't. I just... wow, she's like, perfect for me o___o
Even me, myself, that i umm... admit that i have 'plenty' of talents has given for me, I sometimes goes arrogant or selfish. Or even, i forgot to appreciate my own talent and thank God for what He has given to me. I have to take a few minutes of glance and thank more to Him. sigh. sometimes i wonder if i'll ever have my turn to shine like her. Hmm... it's one of my dream to let the world know about my existence. I'm not trying to boost myself or sth, it's just the truth. it's not a mistake for me to dream sth like that right? Someday i want to be like Charice in MY OWN version :D
well. guess that's it.
Where am I when people need me?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011 // back to top?
I disappoint too many people. I always lost the perfect timing to make others happy.
Why is that? idek.
I know rn i'm a 'new' person but... it happened twice (or more) for this week alr. So, if you're wondering why do i prefer solitude, this is one of the reasons why. I hate disappointing others and i hate putting down people's expectation. It's not that i'm afraid to get hurt; instead i'm afraid that i might hurt THEM.
well, but, anw, i rlly prefer solitude rather than crowded place. i mean, sometimes i prefer to stay at home alone having my personal time rather than going out w a friend/friends. Sometimes i also prefer going somewhere alone w/o anyone else to accompany me. NOTE THIS, i'm
NOT anti-social. it's just i can find ways to relax and comfort by being alone.
okay, so... what more can i say? i disappoint other and when they are hurt, i feel hurt too. sigh. God, i beg You to accompany them rather than me. It's okay to neglect me, i know i'm at fault anyway. I'm totally fine to get hurt (: but please don't let the world hurt em, God.
Guilt.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011 // back to top?
The feeling when i messaged my violin teacher right when i decided to stop taking course; oh God it came back to me ;____;
I'm feeling guilty. Bet can't get rid of this feeling for at least a week (or more?). Well i'm not trying to sound like... sth... but when i broke someone's heart, or let someone down, i broke my heart too ): which means, it kills me as well. I don't wanna make anyone else sad coz i know how terrible it is to feel sad n down but yet i make someone else feel it.
Sometimes i hate myself for it )':