idk.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011 // back to top?

For goodness sake! If I can stay then I really would. If everything was fine back then, then I will choose to stay and skip away the thought of moving to Singapore!

Bro, u hv to understand me. How dare would I if I choose to rather leave you than to stay near you? Listen, i'm NOT leaving you, i'm moving on; and moving on doesn't mean leaving. I don't say goodbye for such a lifetime. I love it to stay near you, especially when we joked around, laughing, singing like crazy, dancing like pro (lol) and i'll include the fighting part too. i love every single thing i do together with you, i want you to recognize that.

You know how i've been back then, if you want me to stay then you should've said it to me. I'll probably took different path if you do. i swear bro, i'll do anything to make u happy .__.

.... GEEZ OKAY idek what i'm talking abt. so teary bcoz of my bro n the fact that mom texted to me. so complicated (referring to my feeling). idek.

The color defines truth.
Monday, February 21, 2011 // back to top?

Second time taking. (consider some He is actually is a She)

Color Test - Results

Your Existing Situation

"He lacks the motivation to put forth effort in achieving her goals. she feels neglected and insecure and is seeking a loving, secure, problem-free environment."

Your Stress Sources

"Vulnerable and impressionable and prone to learning new things. Fantasizes of building a perfect relationship with another full of love, trust, and deep understanding. Needs to know people are sincere as she is far to trusting and fears being used and hurt. Needs to know where she stands in relationships."

Your Restrained Characteristics

Is bothered when her needs and desires are misunderstood and she feels there is no one to turn to or rely on. her self-centered attitude can cause her to be easily offended.

"Believes her hopes and dreams are realistic, but needs reassurance from others. Has strict standards when looking for a partner and wants guarantees that she will not be disappointed or lose."

Current situation is leaving her doubtful and cautions about becoming intimately involved with others.

Your Desired Objective

"Needs peaceful surroundings. Looking for relief from stress, conflict, and arguments. Tries to control potentially harmful situations and arguments by treading lightly. Is sensitive, emotional, and has an eye for detail."

Your Actual Problem

"Tends to be too trusting, so she must protect herself from this or she runs the risk of being misunderstood or used by others. Searching for a relationship which provides a safe and understanding environment, one where she knows exactly where she stands with her partner at all times."

Your Actual Problem #2

"Prefers to be left in peace and avoids arguments, confrontation, and conflicts."

Things that escaped.
Monday, February 7, 2011 // back to top?

Recently i feel like i'm missing lots of things. Somehow feeling complicated. it's like i was in a long sweet dream and suddenly figured out that i'm right here rn, starting a new life that i think... so far isn't going that well LOL! why do i feel so empty.

I miss:

Waking up in the morning, taking a bath, changing into uniform and with high spirit going to school to see my crush and friends.
Rushing the math exercise in class so that it won't be one of the homework need to be done.
LOL-ing with my lil' bro coz of our silly jokes and nonsense imagination.
Hanging out, watching movies with friends on Saturday night.
Laughing until i burst my tears out, laughing until my voice doesn't come out.
Having debate with one of the clever students in class about the correct answer of math problem.
Planting sunflowers in my garden.
Playing cards w my aunties, uncles and brother. 'Painting' wet powder for the losers.
Those days when i first know about Kpop.
Singing out loud in my room without anybody else complaining.
Playing traditional games w my family @ Bali.
The times when i was so carefree about... anything?
Harvest Moon: Back to Nature
Rhapsody : A Musical Adventure
Watching the clear stars at night
That evening when my brother n I saw a falling star.
Playing basketball in Timezone until it almost broke my arms lol. (40 games or more)
Dance dance revolution, with my auntie lol!

school. those precious days.

i can keep going on. i was like, wth with this melancholy feeling. lol! sort of ridiculous for me, but anw, i know i can't get back to who i used to be and i can't even buy those precious times.
well of course i can't buy those precious moment coz it's mine alr hahas.

okay. no. that's not what i meant.
i want to look back onto those days, i wanna know what kind of person was I. What did i do so that i was THAT happy.

most people wanna hv time machine and live in that period of time again but that's not the reason why i wanna have time machine. the reason why i wanna hv time machine is only to help me remembering some precious moments that might've forgotten. ah, time is one of the scariest things. slowly escaping without letting us know, feels like i'm getting far and far away from those days.

okay i'm talking crap. i shld stop, like, rn.


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